Hi,

Yup, unless something drastically changes, I'm moving.  I don't know exactly when, depends on how things pan out, but sometime in the next few months.  Probably in Summer (hopefully early Summer).  Warm weather is better to move in anyways.  So, how do I feel about this?  I really have no choice do to circumstances.  But, I have mixed feelings.

First off.  I've never lived alone, let alone an apartment.  Scary?  Oh yeah!  But also exciting.  Yeah, no woods surrounding me but, honestly, I think my health will be better and it's more convenient where I'm going.  Much more convenient.  

I will have my own place to decorate!  Have a place for my beading supplies!  Can play around more with cooking!  Things wont happen all at once but I will have more room for things I already have (tons of beading stuff, art stuff, etc).  Also, in this particular town (I'm pretty sure I'm going there), they give scholarships to photography classes at the local art gallery!  I can get back to photography again!  And what about drawing?  Yes, I do hand draw!  I haven't in years, but I used to do it all the time!  I was okay at it, too!  Oh, and I write.  Anything.  Fiction, non-fiction, long stories, short-stories, poetry, lyrics, yeah, a lot.  Maybe my writer's block will dissolve.  And, maybe, I'll be able to design jewelry as well.  I use kits a lot but have ideas for designing.  Oh yeah, I don't just bead jewelery.  I weave jewelry (friendship style bracelets, etc), and have ideas for adding beads to them.  And digital art, can't forget that!

Also, I love colors.  And textures.  And "effects" (glitter, metallic, satin, etc).  Maybe some neat bedding?  And curtains?  And nice pictures on the walls?  Oh, and plants!  Flowers are so pretty!  I'm pretty good in the "not killing every plant I look at" department.  And there's always fake too!  I used to watch HGTV a lot!  Oh yeah, I will have TELEVISION! No more problematic satellite (which is more expensive too)!  And MUCH better internet!  They probably bundle the internet and cable.  I can look for discounts.  Also, I can go and get a cheap television (so all the people don't look like their about to throw up because the screen has a green tint on my current television which hasn't been used in forever and may not even work).  For phone service, may stick to my cell.  With only one person, it's much easier then having only cell service in a family.  I can have it plugged in at home then take it with me when out.  Less numbers to remember.  

Of course, this is scary. VERY SCARY!  I think about the good aspects but still can't ignore the underlying feeling of "uh, I don't know if I can do this!"  Yes, I'm older (29th birthday is March 8th...NEXT WEEK).  But that doesn't change that, well, I'm scared!

One thing is for certain.  Jesus is coming with me.  He doesn't need any rental agreement to be with me.  He doesn't need me to support Him.  Actually, it's the opposite!  So, I will never really, truly be alone.  That is GOOD!  I just got to let him lead!  Can't go wrong there!

Maybe I can even start singing again (yes, I used to do that, even had a solo song in high school)!  And no, I wont be too loud!  I'm actually quite quiet.  No loud music (honestly, I can't enjoy music when it overwhelms me, maybe that's due to the Asperger's but it also saved my hearing)!  When I wear headphones, the volume is low! Got some flack for that in high school when people wanted to hear my music and then proclaimed it was too quiet!  

I will be cooking.  I have a feeling, I can cook anything.  Actually, going by the baking stuff in stores makes me have an urge to try it.  Not JUST so I get to eat half the dough or batter!  No, it looks fun.  Only thing I am a little uncomfortable with is meat.  I'm afraid I'll under cook it by mistake and get sick by mistake.  I can see that conversation with my mom:
Mom: "Sue, mind if we stop by today?"
Me: "No, if you don't mind being alone in my apartment without me."
Mom: "What, huh?"
Me: "I'm in the ER...Stupid chicken!  I cooked it like the directions said but..ugh."
Mom: "Food poisoning?"
Me: "Yeah."
Mom: "Again?"

For the record, I've never gotten food poisoning at all, never mind from something I made.  And for the record, I was one of those kids (still am) that licked the bowl, raw batter with raw egg in it and all!  Oh, and the raw fish in my sushi.  Who knew RAW FISH IS TASTY?!  Usually my sushi is cooked but on this particular kind I didn't see the raw fish notice until AFTER I popped a few of those suckers into my mouth.  And because I will be cooking for myself, I will be cooking stuff my family will not touch (like peppers, shrimp, crab cakes, whatever).  I love a lot of different foods!  Odd fact: I HATE SODA and ANYTHING WITH FIZZ!  Oh, and NO ALCOHOL!  ICKY TASTING!  Although Cherry Jack Rum is great straight!  But in all seriousness, I'm not a drinker (never been drunk thank you very much)!.  I like peach tea!  Really good!  And not vomit inducing if you overdo it!

Okay, so this post got really rambly really fast.  I'm really sorry.  But, the point is I'm moving and it brings a lot of opportunity for me, especially in the independence department and hopefully recovery as well.  I'm still very sick.  But not stimulation of the brain can wreck havoc.  I hope that this will be a big help in many areas.  And, my dad said he will keep an eye on me which makes me feel better.  A lot better!

Did I mention I'll have television?  I will...

~Susan

~*If you keep your eyes on Jesus you'll never get lost.*~